Get With It! Speaking False for Power is Soooo 2017!!!

Breaking News: To sound cool, truncate your words and speak blatantly false slogans with attitude!!!!

I just heard a new TV commercial for Applebees where they referred to “appetizers” as “apps.” That is soooo cool!!! So 2017!!!! I’m about to rush over to Applebees and take a selfie of myself eating some Applebee-apps (I call them app-apps, get it?! get it?!!)  Selfie of me eating app-apps will look soooo celeb mag glossy pic!!!

Get over it, grandpa and grandma truth sticklers with your syllable cluttered oldie words. You want to make it bigly, get with the prog, and speak false monosylbs for power!!!

All the coolest brands really get it.

“It’s waaay better than fast food, it’s Wendys!!!

“It’s not a car, it’s a Subaru!”

Some of the biggest celebs like O.J. get it:  “I’m not black, I’m OJ.”

Get it? I do!!! Marketing yourself is all about branding: I’m not a 59-year-old non-celeb white guy, I’M ZAP!!!!!!

(click on pics to see the full post-fact coolness!!)