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Meeting halfway is the touchstone of relationships. You don’t want to meet others less than halfway — shy retreat, neglect, etc. — or meet them more than halfway — doing too much, compromising your dignity by pushing forward where unwelcome, giving unasked-for advice, etc. The halfway point may shift moment by moment. A key skill in relating to others is to be, as Carol Anthony puts it (approximately), “attuned to the subtle minutiae of openings and closings in the other person, ready to advance or retreat at a moment’s notice.”
From A Guide to the Perplexed Interdimensional Traveler:
Meeting Halfway — The Touchstone for Relationship
Relating well to others means approaching them cautiously, grounded in your inner independence. We follow the I Ching principle of meeting halfway (Hexagram 44). Meeting someone less than halfway would be, for example, any form of neglect, such as refusing to give them a fair hearing about an issue. More than halfway would be, for example, giving unasked-for advice, proselytizing, self-important intervening, lifeguarding others, etc. So if you go to a party and see someone you’re attracted to but are so shy that you hide in a corner and never approach them, you have met less than halfway. Hitting on them immediately would be meeting way more than halfway. Even during a conversation, one needs to apply this principle of meeting halfway by keeping attuned to the moment and aware of the subtle minutiae of openings and closings in the other person. With openings, we advance; with closings, we retreat and yield space.
When the other transgresses, invades boundaries, or comes at us with false personality, we should never go along with their misdeeds or do anything that compromises our inner dignity. We should withdraw energy from someone who is coming at us with their false self. Withdrawal can mean anything from breaking eye contact (a withdrawal of energy), ending the conversation, or, in some cases, going our own way for a lifetime. When we withdraw, we should do so lovingly, giving the other space to come to their senses on their own. We do not, in I Ching terms, “execute” the transgressing person in our minds, which would be to view them as hopeless and unable to improve. This would only help to keep them imprisoned by doubt. We also don’t indulge in excessive optimism that assumes they will become more conscious in this lifetime. We remain open to the possibility but do not extend trust to the untrustworthy. We step back to allow the creative to take its zigzag course. And for both our sake and the other’s, we try not to carry ongoing grudges against someone. From the I Ching point of view, we are responsible not only for what we say or do to someone with whom we are connected by inner ties but also for our thoughts because these are communicated on the inner plane.
Relates to hexagram #44 — See Carol Anthony’s book on hexagram 44 and coming to meet halfway: Love, an Inner Connection
