Parallel Journeys Reader Agreement

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Readers undertake the Parallel Journeys reading experience entirely at their own risk and must be comfortable with explicit, written accounts of consensual and nonconsensual interdimensional travel and reality-distortion effects. Zap Oracle Inc. accepts no legal or medical liability whatsoever. Consult your physician immediately if you experience symptoms including, but not limited to, any of the following: tiredness, a hyper/restless feeling, distractibility, listlessness, a sense of vague unease, boredom, irritability, eye strain, free-floating or financial anxiety, nausea, cardiac arrhythmia, vertigo, seizures, disruptions of your menstrual cycle, perforated eyeball, anomalous parasitical infections or mutation formations, implants of unknown origin, spontaneous metamorphosis of any kind, matrix instabilities or anomalies,  changes in identity such as a sudden and/or unexpected shift in sexual orientation, religious affiliation, age, gender, name or other personal attributes. If you become infected with a face-hugger parasite, stop reading immediately and call 911. Note: Don’t be concerned about an erection lasting three or more hours. That’s a normal reaction to Parallel Journeys. Do not read Parallel Journeys if you are allergic to Parallel Journeys reading.

If you experience any indication of incarnation distortion (“Mandala Effects”) such as an abrupt alteration of name, marital status, social position, citizenship, or historical situation (E.G. sudden changes in the names of nation-states, calendar anomalies, discontinuities in local and/or global culture), cease reading immediately.

No statement in Parallel Journeys has been evaluated by the FDA, and no statement therein is intended to replace or countermand the advice of your physician. Any resemblance to a person or entity, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Readers are expected to be in reasonably good health, have a normal legal status, and be fully covered by comprehensive health and liability insurance plans, policies, and networks. All instructions and warnings must be read very carefully and thoroughly comprehended by adult users or by the legal guardian(s) of any minors before undergoing the reading experience. A fluent and thorough knowledge of the English Language is assumed. Users must be securely seated or standing on a stable surface while undergoing the reading experience. Prudent precautions related to the individual circumstances of readers, such as avoidance of electrical or fire hazards, refraining from the improper storage of biohazardous materials, etc. are expected. Readers must fully comply with all local, federal, and international ordinances, rules, regulations, guidelines, treaties, and proclamations. If a multi-national federation, global hegemony, or New World Order of any sort is in effect or emerges during the reading experience, users are required to take full responsibility for their level of compliance with all global mandates, drone surveillance, authorized implants, required identity tattooing, branding or other forms of identity marking, and to fully cooperate with all requests, instructions or orders of such a global entity, either as written or announced declarations or communicated in any way by any and all of its authorized agents whether those agents be human, reptilian, viral, robotic, digital or analog avatars, holographic officials, human-animal hybrids, genetically modified organisms, implanted hallucinations, drones, fully-armored cyborgs, chimeras,  archons or form-shifting AIs composed of liquid metal, nanobots, ionized gases, activated stem cells, free-form biofluids or other ideoplastic materials.

Neither the management of Zap Oracle Inc. nor any of its agents or subsidiaries shall be held responsible for any risk to the health, personal safety, psychological condition (including cognitive and affective alterations of a temporary or irreversible nature), financial or legal status, citizenship, genetic viability, temporary or irreversible alteration of matrix orientation or coordinates, identity or incarnation stability, of any person, agent or entity who participates in this reading experience.

All the materials, texts, images, and subliminal codes and symbols employed in the Parallel Journeys reading experience are subject to international copyright. Unauthorized reproduction, use, or performance of this material is explicitly forbidden except by being granted prior written permission by Zap Oracle Inc. or its authorized agents. All rights reserved. Zap Oracle Inc. reserves the right to add new undisclosed conditions and warnings at any time, and the reader agrees to be bound by those undisclosed conditions. You may be required to name any children born during the reading experience: “zaporacle.com.” You agree to alter your pronoun to a twelve-digit number which will be shifted every 18 hours by our proprietary algorithms. The entire contents of your phone, computer, health records, biometric data, and any personal effects, including but not limited to your private thoughts and feelings, become the property of Zap Oracle and may be shared by and with our affiliates and other interested parties. We also reserve the right to turn on the camera and microphone of any of your devices for purposes of undisclosed surveillance, and Zap Oracle will fully own any recordings obtained in this manner. Continuing with this reading experience means you have understood and agree to comply with all warnings, disclaimers, and conditions, stated or unstated, in this agreement.