Parallel Journeys Reader Agreement
Readers must be comfortable with explicit, written accounts of consensual and nonconsensual interdimensional travel and reality-distortion effects. Consult your physician immediately if you experience symptoms including, but not limited to, any of the following: tiredness, a hyper/restless feeling, distractibility, listlessness, a sense of vague unease, boredom, irritability, eye strain, free-floating or financial anxiety, nausea, cardiac arrhythmia,vertigo, seizures, disruptions of your menstrual cycle, perforated eyeball, anomalous parasitical infections or mutation formations, implants of unknown origin, spontaneous metamorphosis of any kind, matrix instabilities or anomalies, changes in identity such as a sudden and/or unexpected shift in sexual orientation, religious affiliation, age, gender, name or other personal attributes. If you become infected with a face-hugger parasite, stop beta testing immediately and call 911. Note: Don’t be concerned about an erection lasting three or more hours. That’s a normal reaction to Parallel Journeys. Do not beta test Parallel Journeys if you are allergic to Parallel Journeys beta testing.
If you experience any indication of incarnation distortion such as an abrupt alteration of name, marital status, social position, citizenship, or historical situation (E.G. sudden changes in the names of nation-states, calendar anomalies, discontinuities in local and/or global culture), cease beta testing immediately.
No statement in Parallel Journeys has been evaluated by the FDA, and no statement therein is intended to replace or countermand the advice of your physician. Any resemblance to a person or entity, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Readers are expected to be in reasonably good health, have a normal legal status, and to be fully covered by comprehensive health and liability insurance plans, policies, and networks. All instructions and warnings must be read very carefully and thoroughly comprehended by adult users or by the legal guardian(s) of any minors before undergoing the beta test experience. A fluent and thorough knowledge of the English Language is assumed. Users must be securely seated or standing on a stable surface while undergoing the beta test experience. Prudent precautions related to the individual circumstances of beta testers, such as avoidance of electrical or fire hazards, refraining from the improper storage of biohazardous materials, etc. are expected. Beta testers must fully comply with all local, federal, and international ordinances, rules, regulations, guidelines, treaties, and proclamations. If a multi-national federation, global hegemony, or New World Order of any sort is in effect or emerges during the beta test, users are required to take full responsibility for their level of compliance with all global mandates, drone surveillance, authorized implants, required tattooing, branding or other forms of identity marking, and to fully cooperate with all requests, instructions or orders of such a global entity, either as written or announced declarations or communicated in any way by any and all of its authorized agents whether those agents be human, reptilian, viral, robotic, digital or analog avatars, holographic officials, human-animal hybrids, genetically modified organisms, implanted hallucinations, drones, fully-armored cyborgs, chimeras, archons or form-shifting AIs composed of liquid metal, nanobots, ionized gases, activated stem cells, free-form biofluids or other ideoplastic materials.
Neither the management of Zap Oracle, nor any of its agents or subsidiaries shall be held responsible for any risk to the health, personal safety, psychological condition (including cognitive and affective alterations of a temporary or irreversible nature), financial or legal status, citizenship, genetic viability, temporary or irreversible alteration of matrix orientation or coordinates, identity or incarnation stability, of any person, agent or entity who participates in this beta test.
All the materials, texts, images, and subliminal codes and symbols employed in this beta test are subject to international copyright. Unauthorized reproduction, use, or performance of this material is explicitly forbidden except by being granted prior written permission by Zap Oracle or its authorized agents. All rights reserved. Zap Oracle reserves the right to add new undisclosed conditions and warnings at any time and the beta tester agrees to be bound by those undisclosed conditions. You may be required to name any children born during the beta test: “zaporacle.com.” You agree to alter your pronoun to a twelve-digit number which will be shifted every 18 hours by our proprietary algorithms. The entire contents of your phone, computer, health records, biometric data, and any personal effects, including but not limited to your private thoughts and feelings, become the property of Zap Oracle and may be shared by and with our affiliates and other interested parties. Filling out the beta tester form below means you have read and understood all the warnings and disclaimers above and agree to all stated and unstated conditions.