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To Slide or Not to Slide?
Keep a firm grasp on what keeps you alive and gives your life meaning. Don’t abandon yourself to anything. We’ve all had lapses of discipline, but it is crucial to learn from them so we don’t perpetuate mistakes. Here are some things I’ve learned from my struggles with discipline.
The problem with letting yourself slide is that the likelihood is that you’ll keep sliding. If you start sliding off a mountain, you gather downward momentum. If someone on your rope team falls, you have a window of a second or two to self-arrest with your ice axe before a slide becomes irreversible. When driving a car, a moment of letting go of the wheel due to nodding off or inattention can easily be fatal for you and others. But there are many other areas of life where letting go of the wheel leads to slow-motion crashes or lesser destinies but not necessarily to any dramatic short-term consequences. These slow-motion slide zones tempt us toward downward momentum because there is no crevasse waiting to swallow us up, no tractor-trailer waiting to slam into us if our attention lapses for a moment. Fast-motion slide zones — sides of mountains and busy highways, tend to wake up our bodies, and survival instincts and innate animal intelligence will usually keep us vigilant enough to survive.
Slow-motion slide zones, however, often lure us with the sweet, siren call of tragic magic. They give us room to slide, room to get a bit of a rush from downward momentum before any impact. For example, the new credit card I just received today wants to give me room to slide. This is not a metaphor but a carefully engineered, slide-friendly opportunity to fall into debt. I got it as an emergency backup, but it arrives with a glossy, red coupon with a tempting offer: “$100 in cash back for the first $500 you spend!” The first-year introductory APR is 0%. That’s a one-year slide zone made as comfortable as possible. The cliff, 365 days and nights away, is the 27% APR that kicks in after the cleverly greased slide-into-debt zone. It’s just like that friendly slide zone called a casino that will comp drinks and a room to make it as comfortable as possible for your life savings to slide away from you.
Even more tempting are the slide zones that live in our bodies, those inner metabolic casinos. Any blood-brain-barrier-crossing substance can become a metabolic casino. White powders, including sugar, are metabolic slide zones. Ads for blood-brain-barrier-slider products, such as beer and energy drinks, typically show you buff athletes surfing giant waves and beach parties abounding with bikini-and-speedo-clad hotties in states of sugar-rush euphoria. “Catch the Wave,” as the old Coke ad slogan put it. Go for the rush of that introductory slide zone — obesity and type-2 diabetes come much later.
Consumer culture has brilliantly engineered slide zones available everywhere. We live in a 24/7 food carnival overflowing with ads, storefronts, and free samples of the latest fat/sugar/salt combos concocted by industrial food science to give us “mouth feel” and light up our brains’ pleasure centers. “To slide or not to slide?” is a question we answer dozens of times a day — Do I get a salad or a slice of that stuffed pizza oozing with melted cheese? Do I risk an unpredictable, live human interaction or go for some online pornography I can control from my trackpad? Do I read an in-depth article or go for a rush of info distraction and social media voyeurism? To slide or not to slide? moment-by-moment, day-after-day.
We can’t just blame consumer culture because slide zones are built into human incarnation and are as basic as the first law of thermodynamics. Entropy means that things slide toward disorder unless energy is exerted in another direction. For example, consider where you live — house, apartment, vehicle, or tent. Your home base gives you hundreds of to-slide-or-not-to-slide opportunities a day. You’re about to crash — do you throw your clothes on the floor or put them in a laundry bag? If your room is already a mess, you may throw them on the floor. That’s an example of how downslides gather momentum. The more disordered your living space gets, the more heroic an effort it would take to put it right. The entropy hole gets deeper and deeper. Downsliding in one area makes it much more likely that I will downslide in others. If I just had several drinks, I’m not likely to tidy up the house a bit before I go to sleep. If I wake up in a messy house, I feel demoralized and less likely to use my time efficiently.
Relationships are potential slide zones. Do I lash out at my friend who has annoyed me, or do I hold back, act diplomatically, and deal with issues thoughtfully? A tendency toward carelessness in a relationship—not returning messages, not making certain efforts, neglect, leaving a dirty dish in a communal space—can all be instances of relational down sliding that can gather momentum and destroy valuable connections.
While I’m typing this, I must keep correcting my posture because I tend to slump a bit if I don’t. So posture can be a slide zone if you’re not mindful.
Human incarnation is a slide-friendly zone, and there’s no easy, permanent answer. Many people prefer to hear about easy ways to slide upward — a magic diet pill, five hours of energy for just $1.99, how to get rich quick, three things to do to achieve total success, etc.
The price of freedom from falling into the myriad, daily opportunities to downslide is eternal vigilance. Unfortunately, most of us, including me, are not eternally vigilant. If downsliding weren’t a problem, you probably wouldn’t still be reading this. If downsliding isn’t a problem for you, it’s unlikely you’re having a human incarnation.
Some will use the inevitability of downsliding as an excuse to diss the whole possibility of a disciplined life. “Lighten up, live a little, c’mon down, and chill out with us in Margaritaville http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jimmybuffett/margaritaville.html.” If you are making efforts at self-discipline, the citizens of Margaritaville can feel nervous and uncomfortable in our company. Unconscious envy may surface as a disparagement of the disciplined person as uptight, repressed, and a party pooper. But to be fair to the Margaritaville perspective, discipline can pathologize into workaholism, becoming fitness-crazed or turning into a pleasure denier with an anxious, white-knuckled grip on life. Such people have over-corrected for downsliding and become fanatics in certain areas while allowing other regions (like what could give their lives deeper meaning) to slide into neglect. Pathological discipline is essentially a form of over-caffeinated downsliding.
The opposite of downsliding is not hyper-discipline but living a deeply fulfilling, meaningful, and whole life. Hyper-discipline pathologizes when it involves extreme efforts in some areas—career, productivity, fitness, finance—while neglecting crucial aspects such as soulful relationships and creativity. Some people are both highly disciplined and wise enough not to neglect a major sphere of life, and these people can have active, engaged, adventurous lives that involve wholeness and deep fulfillment.
While I know a very few people who suffer from pathological discipline, I know many more who suffer from downsliding. I’ve watched friends of great promise slide into diminished lives and even suicide. Downsliding is governed by the law of momentum. This means that the more you downslide, the more likely you will keep downsliding. You’re stressed, and you let your diet slide. You put on weight and feel bad about it, and that loss of morale causes you to let other things slide. Downslides in multiple life spheres gather collective momentum until people hit bottom. Sometimes, people who hit bottom work their way back up, but other times, they flatline, and sometimes, that’s all too literally.
Tips for Dealing with a Downslide-Friendly Incarnation
Work with Momentum
Fortunately, the principle of momentum works in other directions than downward. Work with momentum by summoning all your will to get positive momentum going in various life spheres and then maintain or intensify it gradually. For example, for the first few days of returning to cardio exercise, I have to overcome this speed bump of lethargy, but soon I’m back to enjoying the endorphin high, and now I want to do it, and the positive addiction of cardio gathers positive momentum. I’m psyched to see my house clean and looking good, and that motivates me to keep picking up and finding ways to make it look even better. See: Working with Momentum
Beware the What-the-Hell Effect
You broke your diet with one cookie, so you might as well eat the whole bag. Sound familiar? Psychologists call it the “Abstinence Violation Effect” (AVE) but more popularly, it’s known as “the what-the-hell effect.” From the sliding metaphor, we could call it the “I-slipped-so-I-might-as-well-keep-sliding effect.” Slipping is inevitable; the key is to catch yourself before a slip becomes a full-on downslide. As the Chinese say, “There is no harm in falling down, only in not picking yourself up again.” Another analogy is taking a wrong exit off the highway. When would be the best time to turn around? Answer: As soon as possible. Avoid the trap of being either in hyper-discipline mode or downsliding mode. For example, if you’re faced with the choice between pizza and a salad, it doesn’t have to be a choice between a salad and eating an entire pizza. You could choose to get pizza and a salad. You could get a large salad and a single slice of pizza, which you cut up and put in the salad. Be clever, use positive trickster energy, and avoid the tendency toward all or nothing.
Willpower is a fragile and ever-fluctuating resource. Recognize when it’s diminished due to fatigue, lower blood sugar, and sleep deficit.A low willpower zone is a potential slide zone.
We used to hear willpower disparaged as illusory. “I don’t believe in willpower!” became a diet book cliché. Actually, a body of research shows that willpower is a measurable resource with many neurological aspects. (Willpower — the Greatest Human Strength is a great synthesis of this research.) Willpower is a resource that tends to diminish during the day as we use it to hold back from certain things and to get ourselves to do other things. Typically, it is at its lowest ebb in the late evening, and that’s when people are most likely to raid the refrigerator, drink too much, send regrettable emails, etc. Understanding how willpower waxes and wanes can help you recognize and prepare for zones when sliding is most likely. For example, let’s say a couple both have frustrating 9-to-5 jobs. Willpower will likely be very low when they get home from work and have not yet had dinner. They’ve used up lots of willpower to be polite to an irritating boss and to deal with many other stresses. They haven’t eaten in a while, and low blood sugar lowers willpower. They’re in a potential slide zone when they could easily get into an argument because the willpower needed to hold back from expressing irritation is critically low. Insufficient sleep also dramatically lowers willpower.
Also, research and my personal experiences shows that it’s a huge mistake to wait to be motivated to take action. Take action first, regardless of feelings, and motivation follows. Expecting feelings of motivation to precede taking action is one of key mistakes of downsliders.
Slide Mindfulness
Be aware of the decision points when you are choosing to slide or not to slide. Don’t default into dowsliding. Recognize those micro-choice points. You go to the bank and find they have put out a plate of free cookies. That’s a choice nexus. If you don’t recognize it as such, then your hand may reach for the cookie while your mind is preoccupied with something else. Choice awareness expands free will and keeps us from becoming mechanical creatures doing things on autopilot.
There is a self-monitoring movement where people attempt to track and quantify various of their behaviors. Some people may do this obsessively, but often self-tracking is very helpful. Research has shown that dieters who keep detailed, accurate food logs lose more weight.
Life Sphere Momentum Check
It’s a good idea to keep track, on a daily basis, of how we are doing in all major life spheres — social, health, creative, financial — to see which we are giving our time and energy to that day and which, if any, we are allowing to slide. Try to catch any life sphere starting to roll downhill and give it some love and attention.
Keystone Disciplines
Look for keystone disciplines — disciplines that help you be disciplined generally. For many, exercise is a keystone discipline. Exercise raises mood, confidence, and energy. It creates a feeling of health that may make you less likely to want to indulge in poor eating or abuse intoxicants. For some, creatively managing their time keeps everything else in balance. Positive momentum in one discipline can work synergistically with others. For example, if you keep your kitchen clean and your fridge well stocked, you’re more likely to make yourself a healthy breakfast. If not, you’re more likely to waste money on a sugary latte and pastry from a coffee shop.
Consider this an auspicious time to be aware of the slide status of various life spheres and take corrective action where needed.
Some relevant short writings on creative discipline: Bechira Line , Perseverance , Tapas , Pathfinding and Day-Mapping, Warriors of the Light, Mindfulness, a collection of Zap Oracle cards on discipline
My major essay/podcast on the Warrior stance: The Way of the Warrior
A collection of oracle cards on the Warrior Stance
