text and photo © Jonathan Zap
Conditions here in the BM can be difficult; once stable structures destabilize; things relied on fall apart. In many spheres of life the first law of thermodynamics seems to reign. It’s important to count our blessings and to acknowledge the basic miracle of ourselves and the universe — Why is there something rather than nothing? What amazing force allowed us to be in a world having any type of experience? Whatever the source of the miracle, it seems that in order to have experience and experiencers you need to have both light and dark. Therefore, unless your feelings are deadened, you are going to feel both light and dark. Allow for that, allow for light and dark as integral parts of your experience and feelings. You live in a realm of dynamic paradox between light and dark. (see Dynamic Paradoxicalism — the Anti-Ism Ism)
To deal with dark feelings, I recommend a paradoxical strategy. On one side of the paradox you need to accept such feelings because some part of them are inevitable. At least make sure that you are not feeling like a failure for having dark feelings. I have never heard of or met a person who didn’t have them, and if such a person existed I’m not sure that they would be a person. As far as I can tell a person is a dark and light entity having light and dark feelings and experiences in a light and dark realm. On the other side of the paradox, it is crucial to realize that we have a degree of choice in how we think about (and therefore how we feel about) our experiences. Not every thought can or should be positive, but in many circumstances the power of positive thinking can indeed be powerful. At the very least we should be vigilant and work to reduce self-sabotaging negative thinking. Dr. Wayne Dyer asked a man who was sick how long he had been ill. The man replied, “In three weeks it will be a month.” That statement reflects the kind of foolish, self-sabotaging negative thinking that should be relinquished. Also, accepting that we have dark feelings doesn’t mean that we should indulge them. When in a state of dark feelings, I recommend putting a hold on major evaluations of your life and of key relationships. Wait until you have at least returned to neutral before you do global evaluations. Moods shift, and with them perceptions, so it is highly unreliable to do global evaluations while either dark or euphoric feelings preponderate. Above all, don’t let dark feelings paralyze you from taking life-affirming actions. Positive action is often the antidote to dark feelings, and even if your feelings don’t change, positive actions are inherently valuable anyway. Also crucial, if you are feeling bad, don’t fall for the common vice of consciously or unconsciously trying to make others feel bad. Do the opposite, take a positive action for someone else and you may find that you will feel better as well as the person you have benefited. Often dark feelings, especially if we give voice to them in journal writing or contemplate them with mindful self-observation, reveal extremely significant things about our inner process.
Consider this to be a highly propitious time to evaluate and transform the way you live with dark feelings.
Could you be addicted to pain? See: Rebelling from the Pain Body Matrix
Are you unhappy about being in your body? This is the core of much neurotic torment and takes the form of dissatisfaction with looks/weight/aging/health.
Read: The Glorified Body
Having trouble finding a path of meaning and creativity in your life? Much depression is caused by a deficit of meaningfulness. Read:
The Path of the Numinous
For more on discovering the core meaning of your life and facing some of the tough existential realities of human incarnation read:
The Capsule of Intentionality… and read all parts of A Guide to the Perplexed Interdimensional Traveler If your depression is related to a devastating loss or shock, the last part of the guide, “Dealing with Shock,” will address that directly.
Worries have you down? Read: An Antidote to Worry
Feel like there’s something wrong with this entire plane of existence? Read: A Splinter in your Mind
Too much focus on the social matrix compromising everything else? See:
Confessions of a Self Aware Starship
Finally, if you’ve looked into all these other possibilities and feel that an outside force is depressing you, read the documents in the mind parasite category of the writing section or order a copy of the Mind Parasite Matrix.