Jealousy and Envy
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Card #99 – Jealousy and Envy


Envy and jealousy are tormenting emotions that require great skill to prevent harm to ourselves and others.

There are many different ways of defining these two words, but for this card, let’s define jealousy as the fear of losing a significant other to someone else, while envy is coveting what another or others have (or that you think they have).

When we don’t own the inner wholeness we already have, we tend to envy others who seem to have what we associate with wholeness or higher status.

Envy is when we are are caught in the malign enchantment of the external object, the glittering bodies, money, and worldly goods that the Babylon Matrix glitters before our eyes, keeping our attention focused on the outer world and away from our inner power. We can spend an entire incarnation resentfully comparing ourselves to others who appear better off than us.

There is, however, a dynamic paradox between the illusory phantom aspect of envy — projecting wholeness into the outer world where it will forever elude our grasp, and the objective reality that life isn’t fair and that every sort of quality and resource are unevenly distributed. Intelligence, health, beauty, money, athleticism, social status, attractive partners, real estate, and consumer goods are some of the major unequally distributed variables. We are most likely to envy those qualities or things that we have (or think we have) in least supply. EG, an older person may envy youth, while a young person from a poor family may envy wealth.

Everyone can think of one or more qualities or resources we would like to have more of. You can always find people who are better or worse off than you are. Unhappy, envious people make “upward comparisons” to those who seem better off in various ways. Happier folks make “downward comparisons” to the less fortunate to increase their gratitude and life satisfaction. Either of these tendencies can prevail regardless of one’s position in life.

For example, someone may have several hundred million dollars and live in a beautiful house in one of the wealthier parts of the country, but their neighbor is a multibillionaire, while they can’t even afford a super yacht.

I use downward comparison to boost my morale and gratitude. For example, at the moment, I’m grateful that I have two five-fingered hands in perfect working order that are allowing me to touch-type this card. I inherited good cognitive abilities and was given many educational opportunities that also allow me to work on this card. Those grateful feelings help my morale. On the other hand, if I let myself dwell on others who are wealthier, better looking, etc. I could make myself miserable.

But there are usually exceptions to all one-size-fits-all-formulations. For example, some competitive folks use upward comparison to motivate themselves toward accomplishment. There are also people who will make downward comparison to inflate stagnate self-satisfaction when they would benefit from improving themselves.

Similarly, jealousy has a dynamic paradox between dangerous paranoia and necessary social perception. For example, if your Eros authentically requires a monogamous love relationship, but you are with a polyamorous lover, then the feeling of jealousy may be catalyzing a necessary change of circumstance. The change should not involve either party seeking to control or change the authentic Eros of the other, but it should involve honest confrontation with the truth of the situation. The solution may involve creative compromises, or it might be a fundamental incompatibility necessitating separation.

The positive aspect is that this is an auspicious time to work on your relationship to envy and jealousy.

On regaining inner wholeness:

Stop the Hottie
Casting Precious…

Many relevant tools and concepts can be found in A Guide to the Perplexed Interdimensional Traveler especially the section entitled: “Emotional Alchemy, Dealing with Afflictive Thoughts and Feelings.”

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