Archives: Cards

Access your emotionally neutral, higher thinking, cosmic vision. Ironically, what farseeing vision often reveals are the obvious truths that are right in front of our faces, but which are nevertheless hard to recognize. The personal view can trap us in the forever chaos of he said/she said. An impersonal or cosmic view requires fiercely looking into things without emotional entanglement. Avoid significant decisions and actions while in a state of emotional agitation. Get past the point of view of internal considering where everything is viewed by the ego as a blessing or a curse. Cut through to the core of what is going on. One way to do this with your life is to ask yourself the question: What will I remember well on my deathbed?

There is an old Venetian saying,"Where are you rushing to, young man? You are already there." We live in a world where hectic speediness going nowhere often takes the place of the gradual development of the soul and soulmate relations. If you are suffering from the modern time sickness, life in a time ghetto where you can never catch up with all that is demanded of you, read the book Time Shifting by Stephan Rechtschaffen. Time Management only teaches you how to juggle a lot of balls, and the reward for such proficiency is still more balls. If you want to learn how to creatively slow down you need to learn to let go of some of the balls. What will you remember well on your deathbed? That's what you want to spend your time on.

Loneliness can be circumstantial, but it can also be a mind set, a false belief that we are alone in our minds/psyches. This is an artificial capsule we create around ourselves, when actually, like the boy in the photo, we are never alone. Often it is better to endure loneliness than to be part of a faceless crowd. The path of individuation can feel isolating,but some relative seclusion can be extremely developmental, giving you the space to discover and unfold your individuality. It is true that the more you work on yourself the fewer will be the people you can relate to as full equals. Don't fall into self pity or victimhood about this. No person is an island, we are all floating in the same ocean of consciousness. The path of individuation may sometimes be lonely, but being lost in a crowd of acquaintances is also lonely and worse in all sorts of ways. Follow your individual path, accept the partial isolation and you may discover that it leads you to spiritual allies following their own individual paths to a place where many paths and errands meet. Though you may not feel good about it, it is possible that this card may indicate a propitious time for solitude. Solitude and togetherness with others are two of the main variables that our lives need to fluctuate between. Many people under value the solitary side of the spectrum and experience it as a privation and hardship. We are social mammals and research by Seligman and others has shown that people universally report being happier when other people are around. In solitude, many people become more subject to psychic entropy -- a chaotic state of negative thought loops and emotions. Most psychopathology -- eating disorder behavior, for example, happens in solitude which is also where people contemplate suicide, etc. Even people who say they prefer solitude report being happier when in the company of others. But what makes us happier in the short run is not always what we need for our development or to do our most important work. Sometimes I may bring my laptop to coffee shops and work on various tasks there. The presence of other people, even though I rarely relate to them, is a social stimulant, like a cup of espresso, part of my brain lights up as I recognize different human types and over hear fragments of conversation. But like espresso, this stimulation can also be an unproductive addiction, and the focus on my work may be lessened by the presence of distractions, caffeinated bursts of social chatter, cell phones and a whole mosaic of irrelevant perceptions. In solitude I am more powerful, more of my inner resources are available to focus on what I need them to focus on rather than the inevitable fragmentation of energy spent reacting to whatever happens to be occurring in the common space. It is in solitude that we concentrate whatever is in our cauldron. Individuality is largely the product of solitude. Solitude is where most of the high level creativity happens, the breakthroughs, the life-changing realizations, and yes, the dark nights of the soul, which are so necessary for our spiritual development. As Jung says, "Every advance in culture is, psychologically, an extension of consciousness, a coming to consciousness that can take place only through discrimination. Therefore an advance always begins with individuation, that is to say with the individual, conscious of his isolation, cutting a new path through hitherto untrodden territory. To do this he must first return to the fundamental facts of his own being, irrespective of all authority and tradition, and allow himself to become conscious of his distinctiveness. If he succeeds in giving collective validity to his widened consciousness, he creates a tension of opposites that provides the stimulation which culture needs for its further progress."

You need to be the alchemist of your own inner cauldron. You know the medicine you need better than anyone -- find it, make it, use it and, when appropriate, don't forget to offer some medicine to others as well.

Get out there and see what is happening in the world. Sometimes the conscious mutant will tend to withdraw from the blooming, buzzing madness of collective energy. It is also easy to fall into an attitude of sarcastic disdain towards the often grotesque and toxic goings on. But we need to know what is happening in our world. What is the state of the present zeitgeist? What is happening locally and globally? Some people feel justified in not knowing about current events. They assert, with some legitimacy, that the news is so often negative and ruled by the "if it bleeds it leads" principle of infotainment. While this is true of many news sources, it does not excuse the obligation of every capable citizen to be as informed as possible about what is happening. While the internet is currently bankrupting newspapers and defunding rigorous journalism, it also makes available many new, non-mainstream sources of information. Even better than seeking out news sources is for you to be your own journalist and visiting anthropologist. The view from the street is irreplaceable if you really want to know what is going on. Some hardcore right-wingers are sure that the U.S. is better at health care and everything else than the rest of the world, but they haven't actually been to other countries. Some naive people on the left think that the dark side of the force is only carried by the U.S., Israel and globalizing corporations, and that anyone indigenous or from an exotic culture is an oppressed innocent. Like the right-wingers, they have led sheltered lives that allow them such a distorted view. Just before I was due to revise this card I happened to see a 60 Minutes segment on Afghanistan and the general in charge there, Stanley McChrystal. What he had to say, and the way he was portrayed in the segment -- he appears to be a highly focused and humble Warrior -- had a strong synchronistic relationship to this card. (Of course later we learned that he lacked the humility to realize that he serves at the pleasure of civilian leadership.) For example, McChrystal says: "You can listen to every radio transmission, down to squad level, and you can watch from the Predator, you can see what's going on. But you can't kid yourself that you know what's going on. But there's a danger that you do, because you hear and you see it and you think 'Okay, I know.' But you're not on the ground with that guy. You don't feel it. You don't hear the bullets. You just can't make an assessment." McChrystal also seemed to understand that military tactics would not ultimately be as decisive as the attitude of the man on the street: "This is something that takes a tremendous amount of understanding. What I'm really telling people is the greatest risk we can accept is to lose the support of the people here. If the people are against us, we cannot be successful. If the people view us as occupiers and the enemy, we can't be successful and our casualties will go up dramatically." McChrystal, of course, is more than an observer; he's a leader who knows that he needs the support not only of his own officers and soldiers, but also of the occupied population. If you are the leader of any sort of a group, or seeking to have an influence, many of the same principles apply. Being a leader doesn't mean being a general, president or CEO, but it is a part of many humble positions in life. For example, when I was a classroom teacher and building security coordinator of a high school in the South Bronx, I needed to know everything I could about what was happening in that world. By earning the good will of students and staff I was better able to fulfill my responsibilities. The narrator of the 60 Minutes piece tells us, "When 60 Minutes went out on patrol with a squad from the 10th Mountain Division, they were not going into a village to root out insurgents but to offer the people protection and help with their daily lives, which the central government in Kabul has so far failed to do. The only way to win, McChrystal insists, is to earn the support of the people." You can't learn what is going on with people, or be a positive influence on them, if you are disdainful, arrogant or bullying. The person best able to learn and influence is one who is humble and receptive to others. General McChrystal, for example, gets out of his headquarters and meets people at eye level. He makes a point not to wear body armor or a side arm. As he explains, "If we are visiting Afghans, typically the Afghan governor, district or provincial governor, we see he doesn't wear body armor, and yet we're walking through his streets. I'm his guest. I think that that's important that I send a message that I trust him and I don't think I am more valuable than I think he is." It is very easy to walk amongst people while being armored by a superior, indifferent or cynical attitude. If people sense -- and this is something very easy to sense -- that we feel more important than them, then we lose our chance to learn from them and for any positive mutual influence to occur. Consider this a propitious time to take an unarmored inspection tour of the collective.

Is there a spell of some sort (infatuation, obsession, identification, laziness, negativity, false enthusiasm, addiction, compulsion, one-sided belief, etc.) that blinds your view? Open your eyes and regain your inner power! Here is an anti-spell technology that I described in A Guide to the Perplexed Interdimensional Traveler . It is called the "Gerund Filter," and it, "...involves a list of categories of thought that are indicative of the ego nervously trying to control the Tao. The position of Taoism (based on the I Ching) is that the universe is unfolding as it should. But the ego, like a nervous backseat driver clutching an imaginary steering wheel in its sweaty, white-knuckled grip, never trusts the nonlinear path of the creative so completely out of its control. Categories (presented as a list of gerunds) that indicate the ego resisting the Tao and/or trying to assert imaginary control over it include: WANTING, WISHING, WORRYING, HOPING, FEARING, DREADING, DESIRING, ENVYING, COMPARING, SUPERVISING, LIFE-GUARDING, JUDGING, COMPLAINING, SELF-PITYING, STRIVING, ANTICIPATING, EXPECTING, PRESTRUCTURING, CONTRIVING, FORCING PROGRESS, HEDGING, RATIONALIZING, CLINGING AND DOUBTING." If the filter uncovers that you are under a Gerund-based spell, go to a section entitled "Dealing with Afflictive Thoughts and Feelings" in A Guide to the Perplexed Interdimensional Traveler .

There are Magical Doorways. A portal opens for you every night when you enter the dreamtime, and death awaits as a magical doorway for the integrated spirit, but you may access portals in all sorts of other ways as well. Empowered imagination can open portals into other worlds. For example, both the writer and the appreciative reader of a great fantasy work are able to step through a portal and experience an alternative reality. One of the greatest magical portals is when a soulmate grants you access to their inner world. Oracles are designed to open portals into the plane of inner vision. Portals may open in the midst of the haste and bustle of the mundane world. Sometimes we can recognize the portal by its numinosity; it lights up in our mind's eye with an uncanny significance. Numinous objects are always worth investigating, but some should be approached with caution. The most unreliable numinous object is a person of great physical beauty because we will tend to literalize that person's numinosity and assume that the uncanny feeling of significance derives from the beautiful person and should be worked out interpersonally. This can be a dangerous delusion because this sort of numinosity is mostly intrapsychic and has more to do with us than with the person sparkling in our mind's eye. (See Stop the Hottie!) Other times the portal opening goes unrecognized because it comes as a seeming accident, as an irritating, annoying, disturbing, unsettling, unexpected event, and it takes some intuitive skill to recognize the accident as a window of opportunity. Windows of opportunity are opening and closing all the time. Stay alert and present in the moment to recognize those key portal openings that further your quest and step through them. Be wary so you don't get sucked into a portal that will sidetrack you. Recognize the portals as they open and close in your world, and make a conscious choice about entering or passing them by.

The "I" of I Ching means lizard. "Ching" is generic for "book," as in the "Tao Te Ching." Some scholars believe that the lizard the ancient Chinese had in mind was the chameleon, which is able to change its color to match its environment. Since the I Ching is the "Book of Changes," the chameleon can be seen as the totem animal of the changeling principle, and of one who is able to morph, mutate and adapt to a rapidly changing world.

Extensive subterranean complex -- mapping the personal unconscious. Nothing could be more crucial than Socrates' great commandment: "Know thyself." Those who don't know themselves act out their unknown contents in the world, and often with disastrous results. Explore the unconscious with the courage to see the horror and beauty of the endless diversity of elements. But don't explore as a tourist, as a psychedelic thrill-seeker or dilettante. If you enter the unconscious without a moral purpose, as Jung pointed out, you are asking to get wrecked. You would not go deep-sea diving without some training, tools, discipline, and a support network. Shamans don't travel into the unconscious to have fun or hang out, they enter with respect, usually for the moral purpose of healing, and they get in and get out as quickly as possible, well aware of the dangers. Another moral purpose to enter the unconscious is to expand consciousness and to share that expanded consciousness with others. Sometimes we are in a state where we are consumed or obsessed with some outer controversy, but actually what we are experiencing is much more fundamentally an agitation happening in the unconscious. We live in a mostly extroverted culture where problems and rewards are located in the outer world. But virtually all human problems -- war, conflict, environmental destruction, etc. ultimately derive from a single source -- human psychology. Try the following meditation: sit still, focus on your breathing, but instead of trying to still your mind, let it run amuck, going wherever it wants to. Have a pen and notebook (or other recording system) in front of you, and record what comes up. It is also of great value to pay attention to your dreams and record them for further study. It is crucial to be aware of the forces and subpersonalities in your personal unconscious. To be ignorant of them is to be ruled by them, allowing yourself to be dominated by a network of autonomous complexes. "I'm not really the type to wander off and sit down and go through deep wrestling with my soul." -- George W. Bush, as quoted in Vanity Fair, October 2000 "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." -- George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003 How do you know yourself? One way is continuous, mindful attention to the movies with voice over narration playing in your head all day and all night. There are waking movies, dreaming movies and day-dreaming movies. The Dubyah sort of method of self inquiry would be to ignore these movies as just bits of nonsense. But notice that every bit of ephemeral whatever -- a flickering image, a twisted thought form of words strung together -- each of these has an absolutely factual existence. It is a fact that you thought of that particular image, those particular words. The unfolding of the universe is altered because you thought of one thing and not another. And regardless of what a dismissive ego might think, each of these "bits of nonsense" happens for a reason, is a product of inner forces operating within you. Acknowledging this takes courage, because we would rather cling to a neater, tidier version of ourselves -- an air-brushed year book photo, when actually we look more like labyrinths filled with moving images and words. And these labyrinths have twists and turns and secret corridors we may not know ourselves. If we don't know them, then this unexplored content -- sexuality, emotions, unintegrated desires, etc. -- will come spilling out of us as slips of the tongue, and sometimes as horrendous irreversible actions (the stuff that personal and collective histories are made of). For example: "The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were the president of the United States, and the world would be a lot better off." -- George W. Bush, second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004 "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -- George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 "Who could have possibly envisioned an erection -- an election in Iraq at this point in history?" -- George W. Bush, at the White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2005 "The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." -- George W. Bush, Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000 "I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." -- George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004 It is all too easy to point to the unconsciousness of the other, but the only thing standing between you and Dubyah-consciousness is eternal vigilance about your inner content. You must be willing to explore the sometimes dark and twisted contents of yourself. Really listen to the voices speaking in your head all day long. Notice that there are different tones of voice, different agenda, different subpersonalities speaking with those different voices. Witness the voices or else become them as a sequence of acting out personalities. Witness all the images that appear in your mind. It's said that fear is like a dark room where negatives are developed. Carefully study all those negatives, prints, slides and looping videos. Evaluate each of them on various scales such as negative/neutral/positive, fear/anxiety to calm/spiritual acceptance, power/love. Besides careful observation of inner content, you must also recognize that you are not merely a passive observer of these inner artifacts. In fact, you are the producer, the director, the special effects team and all the actors in these inner movies. You can decide to start editing out certain repetitious scenes and looping voices. You can consciously choose and create thought forms, images and scenes to add to your inner content. Exploration of inner content is not like a tour of a museum where you mustn't touch any of the glass cases or their curious contents. Inner exploration is an active, interactive, and sometimes interventionist process. To observe a thing is to change a thing, and the maximal case of this is when the object of your observation is your own inner content. Crowley's definition of magik is: "The science and art of creating change in conformity to will." You are at your most magically empowered when you choose to use your will to create change in your inner content. So throw open all those glass cases, probe all the curious inner contents, and, when you are ready, grasp hold of some of these strange artifacts and metamorphose them with your true will. Exploration of inner content is a pathway of truth which takes great courage, moment by moment. Not everyone who glimpses this pathway to truth has the courage to follow it into the labyrinth of the unconscious. Consider the poem "The Wayfarer" by Stephen Crane (1871-1900): The Wayfarer, Perceiving the pathway to truth, Was struck with astonishment. It was thickly grown with weeds. "Ha," he said, "I see that no one has passed here in a long time." Later he saw that each weed Was a singular knife. "Well," he mumbled at last, "Doubtless there are other roads." For an introduction to learning more about the levels and content of the unconscious see Thoughts on Jung Here are a couple of excerpts: "Nobody doubts the importance of conscious experience; why then should we doubt the significance of unconscious happenings? They also are part of our life, and sometimes more truly a part of it for weal or woe than any happenings of the day." -- C.G. Jung "People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. They will practice Indian yoga and all its exercises, observe a strict regimen of diet, learn the literature of the whole world—all because they cannot get on with themselves and have not the slightest faith that anything useful could ever come out of their own souls. Thus the soul had gradually been turned into a Navareth from which nothing good can come. Therefore let us fetch it from the four corners of the earth—the more far-fetched and bizarre it is the better!" -- C.G. Jung

Cool, clear, panoramic, eagle vision. Eagles have the best eyesight in nature. They have two foveae or centers of focus that allow them to see both forward and to the side at the same time giving them an angle of vision of about 300 degrees. Also eagles see with a sharpness that is at least four times that of a person with perfect vision. An eagle's eye is sharp, discerning and impersonal. Don't make a significant decision until you have looked at it with eagle's eyes. You cannot afford to make significant decisions while caught in the personal view of he said/she said, emotional entanglement and agitation. A short cut to eagle vision is to ask yourself the centering question: Will I remember this well on my deathbed?

"Yesterday is ashes. Tomorrow wood; Only today the fire burns brightly." -- Native American saying What you have to work with in the present may seem weird, unexpected, incomplete, but those are just ego judgments. Your job is always to work with what is present in the moment, whatever it is. Engage what the moment offers and the fire of life will burn brightly. Slowing down may allow you to appreciate the beauty of the moment. There is an old Venetian saying: "Where are you rushing to young man? You are already there." The replenishing feminine element in our lives is often so lacking that we seek to race through time till we can get to some future oasis, which often proves illusory. For example, someone works a job they hate counting down to quitting time, weekend or vacation. Or we seek an imagined future when we are at our ideal weight, have the perfect lover, dream house, wealth and a more glowing life. Fulfillment projected into the future forever eludes us. We need to find our fulfillment through engagement with the present moment. Live well today.

Loneliness. Often it is better to endure loneliness than to be part of a faceless crowd. The path of individuation can feel isolating, but some relative seclusion can be extremely developmental, giving you the space to discover and unfold your individuality. It is true that the more you work on yourself the fewer will be the people you can relate to as full equals. Don't fall into self-pity or victimhood about this. No person is an island; we are all floating in the same ocean of consciousness. The path of individuation may sometimes be lonely, but being lost in a crowd of acquaintances is also lonely and worse in all sorts of ways. Follow your individual path, accept the partial isolation and you may discover that it leads you to spiritual allies following their own individual paths to a place where many paths and errands meet. Though you may not feel good about it, it is possible that this card may indicate a propitious time for solitude. Solitude and togetherness with others are two of the main variables that our lives need to fluctuate between. Many people undervalue the solitary side of the spectrum and experience it as a privation and hardship. We are social mammals and research by Seligman and others has shown that people universally report being happier when other people are around. In solitude, many people become more subject to psychic entropy -- a chaotic state of negative thought loops and emotions. Most psychopathology -- eating disorder behavior, for example, happens in solitude which is also where people contemplate suicide, etc. Even people who say they prefer solitude report being happier when in the company of others. But what makes us happier in the short run is not always what we need for our development or to do our most important work. Sometimes I may bring my laptop to coffee shops and work on various tasks there. The presence of other people, even though I rarely relate to them, is a social stimulant. Like a cup of espresso, part of my brain lights up as I recognize different human types and overhear fragments of conversation. But like espresso, this stimulation can also be an unproductive addiction, and the focus on my work may be lessened by the presence of distractions, caffeinated bursts of social chatter, cell phones and a whole mosaic of irrelevant perceptions. In solitude I am more powerful, more of my inner resources are available to focus on what I need them to focus on rather than the inevitable fragmentation of energy spent reacting to whatever happens to be occurring in the common space. It is in solitude that we concentrate whatever is in our cauldron. Individuality is largely the product of solitude. Solitude is where most of the high-level creativity happens, the breakthroughs, the life-changing realizations, and yes, the dark nights of the soul, which are so necessary for our spiritual development. As Jung says, "Every advance in culture is, psychologically, an extension of consciousness, a coming to consciousness that can take place only through discrimination. Therefore an advance always begins with individuation, that is to say with the individual, conscious of his isolation, cutting a new path through hitherto untrodden territory. To do this he must first return to the fundamental facts of his own being, irrespective of all authority and tradition, and allow himself to become conscious of his distinctiveness. If he succeeds in giving collective validity to his widened consciousness, he creates a tension of opposites that provides the stimulation which culture needs for its further progress."

We live in the age of the narcissistic personality type. Even if we are not narcissists ourselves, we are all affected by the narcissism of others. Although I'd been influenced by Ken Wilber and others to think of the Baby Boomers as the most narcissistic generation of all time, recent research indicates that narcissism has only increased in subsequent generations. (See: The Narcissism Epidemic, a book I haven't quite finished reading, but that is a real eye-opener on the subject). Studies show that America leads the world in narcissism. Our emphasis on self-esteem in education has resulted in kids who feel better and better about abilities that have gotten worse and worse. For example, a recent study found that 39% of American eighth-graders were confident in their math skills as compared to 6% of Korean eighth-graders. When actual math skill was tested, however, the Koreans eighth-graders trounced the Americans. The celebrity parade is such a prominent feature of our culture that we are almost too immersed in it to notice it as a thing-in-itself. "When asked whether they would rather become famous, smarter, stronger, or more beautiful, 42% of black teens said famous, as did 21% of white teens." (Narcissism Epidemic) Narcissism has consequences. As The Narcissism Epidemic points out, " A recent psychiatric study found that the biggest consequences of narcissism -- especially when other psychiatric symptoms were held constant -- was suffering by people close to them." Depending on the position of the card and your circumstances, the narcissism you are dealing with may be mostly in the other or others rather than in yourself. If so, I recommend reading A Field Guide to Narcissism. As a recovering sub-clinical narcissist myself (I've never had narcissistic personality disorder, am not narcissistic about looks, but have other forms of self-importance), I don't expect to eliminate my narcissism any time soon, but I don't want it to rule me either. My approach is to be mindful of my narcissism, watch its ebb and flow, reign it in when I notice that showing off or the desire for attention are undermining my interpersonal communication or intra-psychic balance. When narcissism is in the ascendant we feel entitled, self-important, and our needs and wants seem far more significant than those of others. Sometimes feeling pumped up on ourselves can produce a drug-like high, but other times it will mobilize forces in ourselves, in others, and in the cosmos that will puncture our inflated self. Narcissism can undermine the possibility of intimate union with others. As our gaze is mesmerized by the magic mirror of self-regard, we lose engagement with what life is offering us. A hidden evolutionary side to narcissism has been lacking in all the descriptions of it that I have encountered. Narcissism also wants to explode the barriers that obstruct powerful communication of the self with others and to vividly enter their welcoming perceptual field. A perfect narcissistic fantasy, for example, would be to emulate Jimi Hendrix playing searing guitar chords to a stadium full of mesmerized, electrified fans. What we call narcissism may actually be the pathologized form of an evolutionary drive toward more powerful communication, toward new telepathies. Those with a greater latent capacity for such communication may experience alienation and an insatiable urge for greater recognition from others. Paradoxically, the evolutionary urge for more powerful communication pathologizes into an urge for attention seeking expression that leaves the narcissist more cut off from true intimacy with others. Narcissism is complex. Don't cringe from your narcissism, but don't let it rule you either. The positive aspect is that this may be a propitious time to work on transforming your relationship to narcissism. Defining Narcissism (The following is from Crossing the Great Stream -- Education and the Evolving Self, an article I wrote for Holisitic Education Review in 1991) Narcissism is a complex phenomenon, elusive of reductive explanation. Surveying some of the work on the subject, one finds a wise avoidance of conclusive definitions. Narcissism cannot be understood in purely clinical terms. Clinical reports on human personalities are simply, as my former writing mentor, E. L. Doctorow, once pointed out, "the industrialized form of story telling." So what follows is not meant to be a conclusive description, but merely my version, with some help from others, of the story of Narcissus. Narcissism is a state of being that occurs when one is cut off from a deeper connection with the self. A deeper connection with the self involves an awareness of a spiritual or meaningful dimension to life. It creates a center from which we can experience individuality as well as be part of the whole or unity of things. It allows us to see that others are also individuals and part of a world that is not our own inner theater, but a larger stage on which we are just one more player. Lacking this deeper connection, the narcissist does not fully perceive his or her own reality, but rather identifies self with the exterior face or costume that he or she presents to the world—the persona. The narcissist lives in the magical, omnipotent universe of the infant where the world is an audience to his or her starring performance. In place of true relatedness, the narcissist craves the recognition and admiration of others. Although the narcissist desperately seeks the attention of others, he or she lacks any real empathy or understanding of their complexity. On the deepest level, the narcissist may not be convinced that others exist autonomously. The narcissist may have a hostile, exploitative attitude toward a world that frustrates with its unresponsiveness to his or her feelings of omnipotence. Particularly, the narcissist feels deep envy and resentment toward those who have things that the narcissist desires or those who simply have a meaningful life. Alternatively the narcissist may seek a blissful, mystical reunion with the world (womb) through drugs, psychedelic experiences, or an idealized fantasy love object. The narcissist's feelings tend to be undifferentiated, typically alternating between a state of global rage and a depotentiated state of lethargy. The narcissist may not have received the sort of love and nurturing necessary to develop or maintain a deeper connection to the self. The prevalence of disintegrated families with immature and distracted parents, often quite narcissistic themselves, and the whole "culture of narcissism," contribute to this problem. On the deepest level, our culture is deficient in those meaningful experiences that suggest to the psyche the larger dimensions of life. Instead our culture abounds in fantasies of rage and omnipotence and is preoccupied with surfaces and appearance. (end of excerpt) In my essay on Burning Man, Incendiary Person in the Desert Carnival Realm , I describe some of my struggles with narcissism: The many-layered process of my working on my narcissism/self-importance has been going on for decades and may continue for many more years, or at least until I become head of a world government federation, after which I may just be too busy. Meanwhile, the work continues. In the most recent phase I've become more aware of the metabolism of narcissism, and specifically what happens when my narcissism isn't merely a subtle overlay, but turns into a process of actually playing out grandiose fantasies in my mind. When that happens, my energy body becomes inflamed and burns with an orangey-red fire, a fire that is synergistic with the inflamed hyper-caloric fire of high-glycemic carbs, coffee and alcohol. What shifted was an increased mindfulness of the metabolic aspect of this, and a new awareness of what a massive energy drain it is... These wasteful fires intensified to gasoline-rubbish blazes when I was inflamed by grandiosity and/or inferior nourishment... When narcissistic fantasies did come up, I found myself quickly repulsed by them and aware of their unacceptable cost. For example, I was biking down an avenue in Black Rock City, cool visual details and intriguing artwork everywhere, when a narcissistic fantasy began to play out for a couple of minutes. I stopped myself and realized that during the blocks I had traveled while the fantasy played out, I hadn't noticed any artwork, I was captivated by the inferior reality tunnel of my narcissistic fantasy that deprived me of awareness of much more interesting content in the outer world. (end of excerpt) Later in the essay I reacted to many of the narcissists I encountered at Burning Man and how I tried to use their narcissism to motivate more awareness of my own: Nowadays when I find myself intensely irritated by another narcissist I try to use the energy of the irritation to increase my vigilance about my own narcissism; yet another example of my cutting-edge work as a leading pioneer in self-importance research.

Shining a lantern on the hidden parasites. What is sucking your energy? Although I've written extensively on the subject "mind parasites," what's stealing your energy is usually not anything mysterious. The parasites in your life are probably all too familiar. Addictions are the most common parasite, followed by people who want your energy/attention more than authentic relationship. Everything in your life involves energetic transactions. You are receiving and giving off energy continually. To shine a light on the parasites in your life, track where your time, life energy/sexual chi, and money are going. Where do they go without coming back in a way that seems symbiotic, synergistic, and fulfilling? Of course there are some transactions that are appropriately self-sacrificing for moral reasons -- for example, taking care of someone who genuinely cannot take care of himself. But there are other endeavors, habits, relationships, activities where we squander time, life energy/sexual chi, and money without any positive return for anyone. Shine the parasite lantern into the darkest recesses of your life and find out what your personal parasites are. In any magical tradition, to name a thing is to have power over it. Once you can name all your parasites, figure out how you can withdraw energy from them. Usually it is best not to do battle with the parasites directly, because that is just another way to feed them energy. The best way to defeat evil, according to the I Ching, is to make energetic progress toward the good. If you thoroughly engage your time, life energy/sexual chi and money into positive, life-affirming things, then there is less left over for the parasites. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. Wherever there are dark areas in your life, let your parasite lantern shine forth.

Family relations -- happy, sad, repressed? What do your feelings tell you about your family relations? The "family" indicated here may be your blood family, your spiritual family -- those to whom you are connected by inner ties -- and also your inner family, the family of sub-personalities that live within you. The family photo here is obviously posed to show us an idealized image, but what's going on beneath the public surface? Families are living things, and each personality is like an organ of the larger body. Consider this a propitious time to take a fearless and compassionate look at the roles being played by each organ in the body of your various families.