Depending on position, this card may indicate that you, or someone close to you, is in a state of tormented isolation.
Solitude can be a powerful and creative zone of possibilities, but it’s being experienced as a form of imprisonment in this card. Although circumstantial factors can play a part — solitary confinement in prison, for example — more often, the tormented isolation is the result of neurosis, a lack of social skills, and the ills of modern society.
Usually, we feel tormented by isolation because we didn’t get, or aren’t getting, what we want from others. A key to unlocking the prison of egocentrism is shifting from internal to external considering. Instead of focusing on how we feel, what we want and aren’t getting, our loneliness and deprivation, etc., we should shift empathic focus onto others, see how we can help others who feel isolated, and in general, become more sensitive and aware of what others are feeling and find ways to take compassionate action.
Sometimes, tormented isolation results from modern society, focusing on screens and social media. Japan has a cabinet-level minister of loneliness. People report fewer friends, close confidantes, and even acquaintances than in the recent past. Participation in social venues like churches, clubs, organizations, and communities has significantly dropped in recent years.
It’s crucial to be careful where you choose to film the movie of your life. You’re far more likely to meet interesting people if you live, for example, in a college town than in a backwoods or ghetto. If your tormented isolation is due to deprived social situations, do whatever you can to put yourself out there. Go to events and join organizations and communities that relate to your values and interests, as you will be more likely to meet people who share your wavelength.
For example, as strange and eccentric as I am, I’ve always had a wide circle of close friends. Although I’m an aging baby boomer, quite a number of my closest friends are Gen Z. I chose to put myself in what I call “mutant-intensive” social situations. (See a glossary of Zap terms for my defintion of “mutant.”) I live in a university town, and many of my closest friends are people I’ve met at the many festivals I go to where I do free dream interpretation and Zap Oracle readings. My emphasis at festivals is on service and mentoring, not on my social neediness or making romantic overtures. Ongoing friendships arise organically from the far, far greater number of people who approach me for oracle readings and dream interpretation. I don’t go out desperately seeking friends or romantic partners. I mostly let people approach me out of common interests.
I choose friends who share my commitment to consciousness and light up in the green zone on the spectrum of malevolence to benevolence. The more unusual you are and the stronger your commitment to consciousness, the smaller your appropriate demographic of close allies will be. On the other hand, if you are Joe or Jane Sixpack, you can find similar companions almost anywhere and will have a far larger demographic. The tradeoff is that the relationships you can have in a far more select demographic will be of far higher quality. Although I’m a rather extreme introvert, highly unusual, ever older, and super selective about who I’m close to, I’ve always had close friends.
What also keeps me from tormented isolation is that I work constantly on my relationship with myself. Cheri Huber wrote a book entitled, “Be the Person You Want to Find.” I am very well entertained in my own company and often prefer seclusion when I can find it. The unfolding content in my own mind is quite interesting for me, so I don’t compromise that with company unless it’s going to be a high-quality interaction and not small talk or aimless hanging out. The more desperate you are to find wholeness through others, the more people will stay away from you. Conversely, the more aware you are of your inner wholeness, the more others seek you out.
This card emphasizes a twofold path out of tormented isolation- be the kind of person you want to find- a good friend to yourself- and put yourself out in situations where others share your interests and focus on giving them the best value you can offer.
See:
Rebelling from the Pain Body Matrix
Imagine Getting More
Tormented isolation often comes from forgetting our inner wholeness and becoming obsessed with finding it instead in the other. See:
Lessons for an Entity Incarnating as a Mammal
Stop the Hottie!
Casting Precious Into the Cracks of Doom — Androgyny, Alchemy, Evolution and the One Ring